My Everlasting Skullgirl
by guitalex
Summary: The main character, a Mary S- er, I mean, mysterious tall handsome vampire goth who I don't know, talks of his escapades and adventures in Canopy Kingdom! This will hurt.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Skullgirls or anyone involved in its making. I am not writing this fanfic for profit._

**About this fanfic: I am SO sorry for what you are about to read. First of all, let me assure you that I am capable of expressing myself coherently and with proper spelling. Hopefully this clearly-written statement will help ease your future pain and sorrow. I use Word, and even when it auto-corrects a word I check to see if it was the proper one. However, this is supposed to be my take on a famous fanfic called "My Immortal". I suggest you give it a read, or at least read until your brain starts to bleed and then stop. But if you read that first, this will make so much more sense. Also, please don't consider any future author's notes (AN) that are misspelled horribly as real.**

-o-o-o-

Chapter 1.

(AN: Fangz 2 my bfs (best freinds, not boyfriedns ew) the SG comunitty u rok lol! ur awsom! cisco told me 2 tell here 2 get him 2 Ay-VO or sumtin' so YAY!11!. n haterz go away!)

Hi, my name is Black Haired Tall Hand'some Vampire, and I have black hair (that's where I got my name) and I am tall. I am also handsome. I am also a vampire, and I live in a faraway land called Canopy Kingdom. A lot of people tell me I look like Beowulf (AN: if u dun no who dat is GET THE HELL OUT), but more handsome. I am a hipster goth and I enjoy listening to shitty music, wear black eyeliner (AN: kewl guyz use it 2 u no!), black baggy pants that I got at the Hot Topic inside Medici Tower, with black belt straps between my legs like whoa. And I have three black leg belts around my right leg and two around my left leg, black combat boots, black earrings and purple streaks in my long black hair (that's there I got my name). And I have a black belt pouch like Annie of the Stars, but less gay because I'm handsome and I like girls. I was walking next to Medici Tower after buying some black lipstick and black glitter stickers for my black guitar. It was raining and snowing and hailing and windy and sunny at the same time, so I went inside. A lot of haters stared at me. I put my middle finger up at them, showing them my black nail manicure I just got.

"Hey Black!", said a voice. I looked, it was... Nadia Fortune!

"What's up, Nadia?", I asked.

"Nothing. Planning my revenge and plotting to destroy the entire Medici mafia", she said shyly.

But then, she realized she was in the Medici Tower, so she had to go away.

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

-o-o-o-

**(Geez. Why is writing this so much fun?)**


	2. Chapter 2

AN: fangz 2 severin 4 leddin me put im in ma stroy! N haterz stu[p flamming ma story ok!11

Chapter 2.

It was snowing and raining and windy and sunny outside again, which couldn't have been good for my new manicure. I was wearing a black leather jacket, black sunglasses, black hair bows, a black turtle shell and black sandals with matching fishnet stockings.

"Kawai", said my friend B'londe Stallion (AN: severin dis is u!). He is a vampire too. I was always super jealous of his hair. It was long, blonde but somehow dark and mysterious like my soul. He was wearing a black leather jacket, black suede shorts and black combat boots with purple knee pads with red skulls on them. Watching those skulls always got me hungry for blood (geddit, cuz I'm a vampire)

"Hey B'londe! What's up?", I asked begrudgingly.

"Did you hear? Eliza is holding a concert in the River King Casino tonight!", he said hungrily.

"OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD! I love Eliza, almost as much as I love being a misunderstood, suicidal, good-looking, goffik vampire", I said excitedly but somehow empirically.

All of a sudden, Nadia Fortune walked in.

"Hey look, it's Ms. Fortune! You like her don't you?", asked B'londe.

"NO I SO FUCKING DON'T!", I replied quietly.

"Hey", said Nadia.

"Hey", I replied flirtily.

"You want to go to the Eliza concert?", she asked suddenly before slitting her wrists and spraying me with her delicious blood. My thingie got exited.

I gasped.


	3. Chapter 3

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AN: SUTP FLAMMIN OK! if u flam iz b h8r!11 fuk u!1 elyza ROX!111 n u h8rs telln me dat fortune hasn sed ne punz yet fuk u ill get 2 it alreade!1111111

Chapter 3.

I was in my apartment getting ready for the concert. I slit my wrists, then listened to MCR which made me want to jump out of my window and land head first into a fence post, but right then I herd a knock at the door.

It was Nadia. She wuz wearing a black corset, black mini skirt, black leather jacket, black spiked collar and a matching pair of razor blades that stuck out of her wrists. "Kawai bitch", I said sexily.

"Fangz (geddit, cuz she's goffik AND a cat, ders a pun u h8rz fuk u!1111)", she purred insistently.

We went to the River King Casino and stood in the mosh pit. Eliza was totally rockin it. She looked so sexay and I looked at her and got totally exited. She started singing "Many Shades of Black" by The Raconteurs.

"Go ahead, go ahead and smash it all on the floor" (btw i do nt own da lyrix 2 dis song) I started getting exalted. But then we realized what she was singing, got deprezzed and slit out wrists and spun around til we passed out. It was awesome!

"Oh. My. Fucking. Trinity. That concert was tits!", I romped sadistically.

"Hey, let's go somewhere else", said Nadia exhuberantly.

"OK!", I agreed intrinsically.

So I hopped on Nadia's back and she propelled herself by the blood pouring from her ankles like a mech robot as we made our way to... Little Innsmouth at night!

-o-o-o-


	4. Chapter 4

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AN: u r all h8rz if u dun lik dis styro de h8r andis nut bc itz terrible or u cnt read gibbrish dso fuk u! fangz to da SG communitty4 da supprt! U ROK!11111

We stood near the rooftops in Little Innsmouth. Fortune looks sexay and I was exerted. She pounced at me and we started making out keenly against a car. I put my thingie into her tool feverishly.

"Oh, Naida, Niada, Niaad", I yelled as I almost had an orgy.

We took off our clothes. I even took off my bra.

Then suddenly we heard a voice.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKKERS!"

It was... Minette!

"Fish bitch, WTF?", I squealed vehemently.

Minette was a fish girl, daughter of the River King. Except she was actually the adopted child of the River King. Her real parents were both vampires and did an occult spell to fuck with a fish. She was wearing a black apron with a black shell hairpin, black hair with purple streaks and red contacts. She then slit her wrists and died.

"What are you doing here?", asked Minette.

"Well, we were frenching passively", I responded.

"Nadia, why would you do that?"

And she yelled "BECAUSE I LOVE HIM! And I'm horny."

Then she did HK Fiber Upper and disappeared into the sky. Her declaration of love had hit me unblocked, and it had a lot of frame advantage.

-o-o-o-


	5. Chapter 5

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AN: h8rs SUHT AP! da reson minet swor is bc she had a hedache frum wrkn dubl shifs at da restoran plus she found dem havin sexxx!111

The next morning it took me 60 extra frames as I staggered to my feet. I turned on the radio and Fall Out Boy was on, prompting me to swallow everything under the sink to make the pain go away, until I realized I could just stop listening to shitty music.

There was a knock on the door. It was... B'londe Stallion.

"Sup bitch!", B'londe quirked.

"Waddup whore slut!", I responded. B'londe slapped me in the face, then we slit our wrists. "Come on in!"

"So... tell me what happened at the concert?"

"We totally had fun, then we had sexx!"

"OMFG sugee! Let's go clothes shopping for no reason!"

We left as the cleaning lady cleaned the blood left in the hallway. We went to the Hot Topic because hello? Then on our way out we saw something strange. The slut princess was totally fighting a hot nurse or something.

"Thou had uncovered thy bosom for the last time, apothecary dimwit", purred the princess. Her name is Parasoul. She had long red hair at one point, but when she turned Satanist goffik she died it black with purple highlights, and was wearing a black leather thong with a black leather mini, red fishnet stockings and a transparent black shirt with big X nipple pasties. She totally looked like Marilyn Manson, but hotter (as if dat wuz even posible! OMFT). After her mom became the Skullgirl, she was bitten by a vampire and now she is a vampire.

"I don't work for you anymore, whore!", said the nurse. Except she wasn't a normal nurse. She was a vampire nurse! And she drank blood from the blood bank Eliza frequents (OMT Eliza is SOOO hut!). She was wearing a black leather corset with black leather hotpants and combat boots. Instead of a surgical mask, she was wearing a ball gag.

They started fighting and eventually the princess came out victorious.

"That was the tits!", I said. "It was kind of weird that I could tell what the Princess was going to do EXACTLY"

"I know", replied B'londe. "Except that in my case, I could totally tell what the nurse was going to do.

"Wait... you knew EXACTLY what she was going to do?", I asked quirkily and statistically.

"Yeah... it was odd, I felt like I was somehow... controlling her!", cried B'londe suspiciously.

"We must be linked... maybe we are able to control the vampires that are our vampiric successors! So we could use them to fight!", I deduced seductively.

"Hmm... we can try it out again. Just look at the nurse this time", B'londe had an idea.

I looked at the nurse and she stood up. I then tried to imagine her jumping and landing on her head. Sure enough, she did. She broke her skull and blood was everywhere. My stomach growled.

"FUCKING GRATE!", I said.

So we decided to start a tournament. In it, we would use the occult arts to link people with vampires for our amusement. I couldn't wait to start round 1!

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	6. Chapter 6

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AN: i sed suht UPPPP h8rz! im tryong 2 get 2 da story!1 if u flam mah story ill main solo painhweel!11

Chapter 6.

The first day of the tournament everyone had gathered in the streets of Little Innsmouth. There were banners and fireworks, except the fireworks were black and red and exploded into blood pouring down on the audience. Then everyone slit their wrists and died.

The crowd roared in anticipation of the first match. Since we couldn't find anyone else, it would have to be me against B'londe Stallion.

"I choose... Nadia Fortune!", I yelped quizzically.

"I choose... Cerebella, Parasoul and Double!", B'londe quipped empirically.

"WTF ass! One against three!?", I asked.

"What? No one said anything about having the same team size, gunt face", responded B'londe.

"Shut the fuck up, slut on a stick", I said lovingly.

As the fight started, something became apparent.

"Why can't she respond when I tell her to?", asked B'londe.

"I know. Fucking input lag", I said.

"Maybe we shouldn't be using wireless controllers...", said B'londe.

When we finally got used to the delay, B'londe noticed something very peculiar. His fighters were fighting at less strength than mine.

"HA, bitch slut! My psychic link is better because it's just one character!", I said as Fortune delivered the final blow to end that round.

"SHIT FUCK TIT SUCK!", yelled B'londe quietly. He had one more round before he had to be sent to losers. "I have a plan for this round!"

"If your plan is losing then it's going swimmingly", I quipped.

B'londe grunted sexily, then slit his wrists and died.

Then the match started. B'londe Stallion took an early lead by calling in assist characters.

"FUCK THIS, THIS IS CHEAP! I CAN'T BLOCK OR DO ANYTHING BECAUSE I'M A MORON", I whispered loudly.

"Learn to block, cock nose!", said B'londe Stallion, as he did a 420 hit combo that prompted the entire audience to blaze it.

"FUCK!", I yelled as my pussy lay on the floor. I had lost the second round.

"What am I supposed to do against all these assist characters?", I thought. Then, it came to me like a dream.

When the match started, B'londe called his assist and started pressuring my character.

"Alright, Nadia... BLOCK!", I thought.

Nadia blocked the assists, and the approach was thwarted.

"Now... pushblock them away", I commanded.

Fortune pushblocked the assist away.

"And now... do a reversal on the point character that is obviously going to approach to protect the assist and keep the pressure going, duh!", I advised her.

She then did her Fiber Upper move, and was now hitting both characters. Soon both characters were done, and it was just solo Fortune vs. the remaining Double.

"HA, cunt mouth! I got you now!", I yelled sexily.

"Not so fast...", said B'londe.

Suddenly Double turned physically like Ms. Fortune headless, and nine Fortune heads surrounded it.

"The fuck is this shit!", I asked begrudgingly.

"That would be Cattelite Lives, bitch slut! Try to get around this!", yelled B'londe sexily.

The cat heads just attacked while Double did nothing. There was nothing I could do but get hit. When she got hit, Double went in and did a really long combo, but she started to repeat the same sequence of moves.

"Hey! Fuck off!", I yelled, as a burst pushed Double away. Finally she had some breathing room, so I planned my route of attack.

"DINNERTIME!", yelled Double, calling the cat heads again.

"SHIT", I thought. Fortune then squatted. "NO NO NOT THAT!", I stopped her before she did it.

The heads got to her right as I had thought of blocking them. At least she seemed safe, but Double was jumping over. Right as the cat heads went away I thought of-

"DINNERTIME!", yelled Double again.

"FUCK!", I yelled.

While Nadia was blocking, I could not keep track of what to block, and she got hit into a combo that drained the last of her energy.

"SHIT, why am I in loser's bracket? I'm the fucking protagonist! I'm not doing some Ash Ketchum bullshit!", I cried sexily.

"HA! I move on! So... who do I fight next?", asked B'londe.

"Your next opponent will be..."

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	7. Chapter 7

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AN: fangz (geddit cuz im goffik n dumb) to zee n DDB 4 leddin me put em in da storyy!1

"Well, you fucking dramatic pausing bitch, who's my next opponent?", asked B'londe irrevocably.

"Calm your tits, man. Still running through the bracket.", I responded evasively.

"Then why the fuck did you just start that sentence?", asked B'londe.

"Shut up cunt slut", I responded.

Two unknown entrants approached, ready to battle. The first one was tall, with black hair, pallid skin and eyes like limpid tears. He was wearing black leather shorts, a black leather vest and had nipple piercings tied to leather straps forming an X before they tied to the black leather belt. He was also wearing pink bunny slippers.

"Hi. My name is Zion (zee dis is u!1). I'm a vampire goth who enjoys terrible music, so I will fit in perfectly with the cast", he said sexily.

"Hmm... let me test you. What do you think of Fall Out Boy's 'My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark'?", I tested.

He then lit himself on fire and died.

"OK, you pass our test", I responded.

"Tits!", replied Zion.

The second fighter then entered. He was wearing a black leather thong with assless chaps, fuzzy purple leg warmers and a purple leather jacket, and had 8 piercings in each ear, with two of them being enlarged big enough to fit Vice Versa's fist through them.

"Hey... I'm Diavolo (DDB dis is u 2!111!one1!eleven!111) and I am also a vampire, and a goth, and I enjoy terrible music. But also, I have superpowers", responded Diavolo.

"OMG what kind of superpower?", we asked intrigued.

"I can teleport myself one milimeter to my right", responded Diavolo.

"Sugee bitch!", we all said before slitting our wrists and dying.

"OK! Time to start the match!"

Zion said "I want... Ms. Fortune!"

"Wait hold on slut! I want her on my team with Parasoul and Cerebella!", yelped Diavolo angrily.

"Shit... what can we do about this?", I wondered.

From a strange looking glass, a supreme being was watching the drama unfold.

"OMG Venus you have to help them go on!", said the entity.

"For Mother's sake, Aeon... I swear, you and your horrible fanfics!", said Venus before snapping her fingers.

"YESSS! Can't wait to see how this car crash unfolds!", said Aeon before looking into the glass again.

Meanwhile, for some odd reason a second Ms. Fortune popped out of a portal. She was wearing the same clothes, just with different colors. Instead of purple streaks, they were red. And goffik.

"Without further ado, or questioning, let the next round begin!", I yelled sexily.

Diavolo took the early lead by calling in his assist characters and pressuring Zion's Fortune.

"Don't think this will last forever cunt breath!", yelled Zion before his Fortune escaped the pressure and knocked out the other Fortune like whoa.

"HA! The real challenge starts now!", said Diavolo, putting the pressure and doing high/low mixups with Parasoul to overcome Zion's Fortune and take the first round.

"Shit! Well, let's see if you can do that again!", quipped Zion unequivocally.

The second round started like the first, but this time Zion had a plan.

"LK Fiber Upper now!", yelled Zion silently.

Fortune caught both the point character and the assist with the move, so she was now comboing both. After one long combo, both characters were dead. Suddenly a roaring laugh was heard through the arena. We were all confused, slit our wrists and died.

"I got the upper hand now, let's see you deal with solo Fortune with Cerebella! Rolling start, now!", commanded Zion eerily as Fortune removed her head.

"Ha! I'll just use her armor and go through your dumb shit, ass lips!", he responded astutely.

Cerebella charged at Fortune, but then got stopped by the head biting at her feet. Fortune then approached and did one long combo to finish it off.

"Your mistake for telling me your strategy, numb sack!", said Zion evilly, but somehow integrally.

"Yeah, that was kinda dumb. This isn't Yugioh, dumbass", I said dryly.

"Very well, I will take the third round anyways. So fuck you", said Diavolo sexily.

The third round started, and Diavolo had a plan. But hopefully he would tell everyone like he was some villain in a Bond movie and just fucking do it.

He knew how Zion was going to start the match, so he knew what to do. He called assist, then jumped in the same way he did earlier.

"Alright Nadia, LK Fiber Upper again!", thought Zion.

"Block it in the air!", thought Diavolo.

The Fiber Upper was blocked, and now Fortune could not follow it up and had to recover.

"How... how could this be?", thought Zion.

"See, if you block something in the air and then land, your blockstun is gone. So you end up at a better frame advantage! Everyone knows that, clit nose", thought Diavolo.

"Drats!... wait, you can hear me think?", thought Zion.

"I don't understand what's going on right now", thought Diavolo.

In the end, Diavolo took it by properly blocking and punishing Fortune's Fiber Upper.

"Tits! Someone knows how to deal with Fiber Upper for once!", I said sexily.

After all that excitement, we all went to get a bite to eat.

-o-o-o-


End file.
